討厭我自己?

今天覺得有點不好.. 很機車.. 工作到很晚可是沒有想像中的 Fulfilling.. 有時候覺得方法用錯, 就算努力也未必得到肯定

我討厭GY的客人, 討厭公司無聊的Politics, 討厭下班沒朋友 hang out, 討厭一個人的北加州..

maybe i'm just dreading the phone call with customer tomorrow.. but i can't be sure..

想要找個辦法過得開心一點.. 好難

56103

今天其實沒有做什麼. 可是還是覺得有點累. 我想我應該要開始找一些嗜好來填補我 56103 [無聊的人生]

該做些什麼呢?

hello again xanga, it's been a while..

so out of the blue.. well not really.. i've decided to start documenting parts of my life again.. people call it blogging.. i have no idea what to call it..

There are times in life where you feel like "what is the point?", well recently I've been getting more and more of those moment. I try not to have things get to me and sometimes i would succeed and most times i won't. Burdens: family burdens, work burdens, money burdens... I mean who doesn't have those? It's how you deal with it that's most important. I feel trying to tell others what to do with their life is far easier than trying to figure out what to do with mine.. 

Northern California has been a new chapter of my life and as I grow older I don't feel like I've achieved level of success that I would like. I have to say that right now I have a semi-decent job as a PM, not the best pay but okay, and I'm still learning on what it is that I'm actually doing. Working at a tech company, there are definitely elements of my job which I enjoy being my geeky self. But dealing with angry customers and negative attention is definitely not my idea of fun, but instead of embracing the chance to learn from it, i desperately want to run from it but I can't. Sometimes I feel so helpless when I have to commit to customer but I don't actually know if I can deliver. I know I can do better.. and I will.. little by little.. God give me strength!

寂寞寂寞就好..

還是原來那個我 不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾 遲早我會換這張臉 一堆笑容

不算什麼 愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯 早一點解脫

我 寂寞寂寞就好
這時候誰都別來安慰 擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了
傷到 快瘋掉 死不了就還好

我 寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用來我回憶里 微笑
我就不相信我會笨到 忘不了
賴著 不放掉 人本來就寂寞的
借來的都該還掉

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我就不相信我會笨到 忘不了
賴著 不放掉 人本來就寂寞的...